How many times have you heard a negative comment from a boss or colleague that throws you for a loop? It stops you in your tracks and you cannot do another stitch of work. You end up analyzing and reanalyzing the comment. You tell your friends and coworkers. You bitch and complain. Maybe you cry. Basically depending on how bad the comment was you loose anywhere from hours to days of productive time from your life. So what to do?
Well the person is right or the person is wrong. Right in some ways or maybe part right and part wrong. Either way, there are practical steps to take.
First take a breather. Maybe a take walk around the block or head to the gym for an hour to cool off. Then think about the comment(s). Is there a grain of truth somewhere in this sea of negativity? People do not always express constructive criticism in an appropriate way, that can be clearly heard by the recipient. What nugget of wisdom can you learn from this?
Or maybe you think this person is wrong? Then you need a way to handle it. Expressing your feelings to this person vs. just complaining can make a huge difference as to how comments are communicated to you in the future. During this type of discussion, be sure to leave all all emotion. Seek to collaboratively understand and not just to be understood. This is always easier without the heat of your feelings and emotions coloring the conversation.
Also remember that sometimes comments are made off the cuff and are solely the expression of something happening, at that particular point in time, in that individuals own life. You can save yourself a lot of grief and despair, by not always take each comment personally.
Negative people and comments can make your life miserable, however you have the opportunity to make lemonade out of lemons by choosing to use in a constructive way!
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Posted by: Jordan Melo | March 09, 2011 at 03:21 AM